In My Chambers with Rachel Joseph

rachel-head-shotWelcome back!

I had the opportunity of interviewing this very special young lady.

About 20 years ago Rachel and her sister Alanna invited me, a new Christian and member of their church into their home for dinner.  To this very day I haven’t forgotten how kind she and her family were to me.

And now, I’ve been given the opportunity to be a blessing back  with my book/ministry Single Ready & Waiting.

Well without further due let’s dive into our interview.

IMC: Welcome Rachel. Tell me prior to meeting Kevin your husband what type of men were you tired of meeting?

Rachel: I was tired of meeting men who were simply not interested in me or had no real NEED for me in their lives.

IMC: And you have a precious little girl… did this influence your dating choices in any way? How?

Rachel: Actually because I had a child from a previous relationship, this caused me to be extra cautious. I refused to allow her to view anyone as a potential father figure except for Kevin.

IMC:  How did your friendship with Kevin develop into a Courting relationship?

Rachel: To be honest it all happened at once.We became friends, he brought me breakfast almost every morning on his way to work, he made me laugh everyday, and then we started going out places. However we both knew that the feelings were there and that we were for each other. I knew the first day I met him! It was just a matter of getting to know each other better.

IMC: During your relationship was there ever a time that you didn’t see eye to eye on something? How did you overcome this challenging time?

Rachel: Yes! Although my daughters father is in her life, I take care of her by myself, well now with Kevin’s support of course.As much as I would love to take action to enforce and amplify his parenting obligations, Kevin always reminds me that she has what she needs and to leave it into Gods hands. So eventually, I did.
IMC: How did you know that Kevin was deserving of you?

Rachel: Because he always put me and my daughter first alongside his children.Also, he needed me and I needed someone to need me. I was never important to anyone to the point where I was a necessity in their life until I met him.

IMC: How did you know that you were deserving of him?

Rachel: This took a while to discover because I was always letting trash into my life. Then comes this MAN! I was in the process of rediscovering myself after I read ” Single Ready and Waiting”. I was in detox mode. It took months to realize that I deserved to be finally loved and that yes, it was real. I was not used to it, so much so that I would complain to my friends that he was to good to me. They said it’s because I’m not used to being treated like a lady. Then my eyes were opened like Yes! I do deserve this! It was a whole new world to me.

rachel-and-hubbyIMC: How did he pop the question?

Rachel: It was my last day at my previous job, Christmas Eve. He knew where I worked and what time I would be finished. I went down to the below ground parking lot through the underground shopping grounds and I saw this man that looked exactly like Kevin grinning from ear to ear. To my surprise it was him with flowers congratulating me on my upcoming new job. I thought wow this man knows how to make a woman feel special, and then he got on one knee and proposed! I was in complete shock and I was not expecting it at all. It was the best Christmas gift I have ever received!

IMC: How did you prepare your daughter for this major transition in both of your lives?

RachelKevin and I allowed my daughter and his children to spend time together on weekends. I also spoke to her about the change in our home location, family structure, sleeping arrangements and new school etc. She was just happy to see her siblings more often, however for a toddler it did take some time to get used to and my step-children were a great help.

IMC: If there is one piece of advice that you would share with single moms looking for love, what would that be?

Rachel: It’s impossible to have one piece of advice lol so here are a few!! Be extremely careful who you invite in. A lot of people will come knocking, selling all sorts of goodies, but allow God to open the door for the right person, not you.

Only let them meet your child/children if God has proven this person is fit for you. Don’t make anyone waste you AND your child/children’s time. They have to be interested in your child as well.
Ensure this individual is 150% okay with you being a single parent, any sign indicating otherwise, run as fast as you can.
If your child’s other parent is involved in their life, arrange a meet and greet between them and your new friend after you have broken the news to the other parent about your new relationship status. Don’t let others dictate how and when that should happen or do it on your behalf.
Likewise, arrange to meet your friends child/children’s other parent. This should be arranged by you and your new friend only and at the right time.Never get involved between the two of them regarding their co-parenting and don’t let your new relationship affect your co-parenting.
There is nothing wrong with your heart being interested in someone with a child/children like you. They MIGHT be more relatable and adaptable than someone with no children. However this is not always the case.
At the right time, find out their status on having a child/ more children, when the right time is to start and how many future children you would both like to add to the bunch. This prevents harmful surprises in the future.
IMC:Thank you Rachel for sharing your experience with my readers. Blessings and more blessings to you and your new family.img_0043

 

 

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