Managing/Maintaining my integrity came out of my love for God. I understood that as a single person, He is my first priority and it was/is/and will always be my desire to please God first. As a single minister I had engulfed myself in ministry, so my schedule was packed and I was constantly busy. That definitely helped. If I be honest, I didn’t always get it right but He remained faithful to me. Also because I had many youth in my church that I mentored, I tried my best to be a living example in front if them. Walking in discretion was necessary and staying accountable to leadership.
SRW: You being a minister I know that there can be pressure to find a wife how did you stay focused and not allow this pressure to influence your decision making?
Honestly I was comfortable in my own skin and didn’t allow outside influences to penetrate who I was. Many people have great opinions of how they feel your life should go but staying true to you and consulting God are key tools to not allow anyone to force you into a season you know you’re not equipped for as yet.
I didn’t have the wildest idea that she would be my wife. Her family knew my family for years through church. We were in the same church circle but didn’t really have any connection. It was a “Hi and Bye” relationship. In 2006 we reconnected and exchanged contact info. From that point on it became a friendship bond that was second to none. It was a platonic friendship. Even though many thought we were secretly dating that wasn’t the case. It was in November 2009 I finally asked to date her and during that time I was assured that she was my wife. In February 2011, I proposed to her. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. So I don’t have the fairytale story of love at first sight but I do have the fairytale ending of Happily ever after!
SRW Opportunity Moment: Although Min. Bullens said he had asked his wife Janet to date, it is very important that we take a closer look at what his intentions were. The fact that he “was assured that Janet was his wife” would mean that he was doing more than just dating Janet. His intent and purpose was to marry her. This is what Courtship is all about:)
SRW: What made her unique and special to you?
Two key things made her unique and special. The first, she never got caught up in the hype of being associated, friends, dating or married to me because of a title or status. I was able to just be myself around her. Nothing more, nothing less!! Secondly, at the time of us making reconnecting after some years, she had just transitioned to a new church home after leaving her church where she grew up. For me that spoke volumes because it let me understand that she had a courageous tenacity about her. Leaving your family’s church isn’t one of the easiest things to do because you leave familiar surroundings to go into the unknown and having to readjust. Plus you may have to endure some ridicule as well. But that never shook her. She trusted God with her future while honoring and respecting where she came from.
Mild Turbulence then sunny skies
Honestly, my Courtship period was smooth sailing. We had little disagreements definitely SMOOTH SAILING.
SRW: Was there anytime in your Courtship that you sought wise counsel? What was the best advice you received from them?
My pastor and a fellow pastor that we were affiliated with counseled us. One of the best pieces of advice I received was, in your pursuit of success in life and ministry never forget to check where each other are. Keep a balance and never become too busy that you dismiss your partner’s feelings. Also, stay unique to who God has created not only as a person but as a couple. You never have to eclipse each other by losing who you are to make the other happy.
SRW: How did you propose?
I surprised her at my best friends birthday party while giving him a birthday speech.
SRW: How did marriage change you?
Marriage has made me more balanced as a person. I’ve also become more sensitive to others around me.
SRW: What advice do you have for single men who are in ministry?
I will advice single men in ministry to stay committed to God first. Also know who you are and be honest with yourself and your desires. If you desire to be married please make sure you have equipped yourself to take on a wife. Let no one force you into marriage if you’re not ready for it. It’s not about what looks good but about what is ordained for your life in the RIGHT time. Keep the volume down on your life. Carry yourself with integrity and walk in discretion. Lastly stay accountable to your leaders/authorities in your life.
SRW: Thank you so much Min. Bullens for sharing your “How We Met” story with me and the SRW Community. Your answers are going to minister to many. May God continue to be the ROCK in which your marriage stands for all other ground is sinking sand.
This is the end of another blog post from Inside My Chambers.
Have a blessed week and remember “God Has A Master Plan With Your Name On It!”