Does joining a dating site mean he/she does not have enough faith in God to provide?
Does joining a website mean he/she is taking matters into their own hands?
These are just a few questions I hear most Christian singles ask when the subject of on-line dating comes up.
With so many Christian singles having a hard time meeting a potential spouse within their church some have chosen to widen their options by secretly or openly joining an on-line dating site to hopefully meet and marry the love of their life.
Could this be where you’re at in your single season? Considering on-line dating?
If so, here are 5 tips I came across from a Christian woman who successfully met her husband on-line.
May her insight be a good guide for you.
“1. Meet in-person as soon as you can.
- Think of online dating as merely a tool to meet new people. My husband and I know of various other Christian couples who met online and are now married. Common to all of us was that we transitioned from the online world to the “real world” as soon as we could. There’s a temptation when meeting online to keeping it there because it’s so “safe.” You can share at a heart-level, showing only the best of yourself and hiding what’s not as flattering. That’s why meeting in person sooner rather than later is wise. It gives you a chance to get to know the person in the real world. It’s important to see for yourself how this person treats others, deals with everyday frustrations and carries him/herself.
- Scheduling the in-person meeting before you develop serious feelings can help you make wise decisions on whether this is a relationship you want to continue exploring or not.
2. Common sense is as important online as it is in the “real world.”
- Be safe. Meeting on a Christian dating site doesn’t automatically mean the person you’re communicating with is who they say they are. When you schedule that first in-person meeting, do it in a public area. Let your friends and/or family know what you’re doing.
3. Quickly bring this person into your community and get to know theirs. This gives you much-needed context to making sure this person is who they say they are.
- When my husband and I first met in person, I had someone I trusted (an older male) come with me and help me make sure this “virtual guy” was legit. I also made sure he met some of my trusted friends early on so they could give me input. That he was willing to be vetted helped me realize his intentions were sincere and his heart humble. That he quickly made sure I met his friends and family helped me know his intentions were serious.
4. It’s OK if the initial meeting is a bit awkward at first.
- I’m not going to lie – I felt a bit self-conscious and shy that first day I hung out with The Man Who Would Become My Husband. It was strange to me that this guy knew how my day at work yesterday had gone, and yet I didn’t know if his eyes crinkled up when he smiled or if he gestured a lot when he talked. (In case you’re wondering, by the way, they do and he does.)
- He was patient for me to come out of my shell a bit, and thank God I was able to overcome any foolish notions I had that our meeting would be perfect out of the box. We learned that it’s worth working for things that matter.
5. In all things, trust God and follow His lead.
- In the end, meeting online is something we don’t even think about now. God used online dating to get us together, but, like couples who meet in a more conventional manner, we had to pray, trust and obey throughout every step of the dating and engagement journey.
- We’ve now been married for four-and-a-half years and we have two precious kids. There’s no doubt in our minds that God, not our dating site, was our ultimate matchmaker.”
When I saw tip number five I got excited because this is what the Single, Ready and Waiting book is all about; recognizing the STOP signs, WAIT signs and the GO signs. Had I not followed the “SRW Signals” I would have missed out on my divine connection.
Whether you meet someone conventionally or unconventionally you should always, always follow the leading of the Holy Spirit if you want to be successfully single or successfully married:)
(If you would like to read more on the subject of on-line dating and where these points came from see here : http://www.crosswalk.com/blogs/jim-daly/is-online-dating-biblical.html)