Welcome to In My Chambers Solomon. It seems like yesterday that we met at an event my girlfriend and I had put on for Christian singles and now you’re a married man. So very happy that you found the one your heart longed for. Tell me Solomon prior to marriage how was “singleness” different for you as a Christian vs non-Christian.
Solomon: A bit about me to better answer this good question! I am a PK(Pastors Kid). In my younger days, I was that PK that broke all the rules and still went to church on Sundays. I enjoyed the things of the world like hard core clubbing about 5 days a week and drinking. Singleness then for me was like being sick, I did not like it at all…it was obvious I needed a Savior. I would later on in life respond to God’s invitation to be made whole! After Jesus had gotten a hold of me, my view of singleness was different. I began to see singleness as a time of Preparation, Pruning, and a Path bringing me closer to Jesus. Singlehood as a Christian was a joyous season to devote myself to Christ and His cause.
The Bible says He that findeth a wife….when did you start the search for a wife ?
Solomon: I had the desire for a wife, but I was not out searching. I had relational setbacks I needed healing from, which kept me from actively searching. I remember once saying I wanted a wife that really loved Jesus; I was at peace knowing God was preparing her for me and I too needed to be prepared for her. It’s the best feeling in the world that I met my wife when I was searching for more of God. It’s so true when we seek God’s kingdom first, everything is added to us as mentioned in scriptures.
Then you met her. How did you know that she was the one you wanted to marry?
Solomon: Great question! I don’t take the credit for connecting with her; it was all the Lords doing…He is the perfect match maker. There is a quote I like, “The journey toward greater things is marked with setbacks and real suffering, but God has never wasted an ounce of your faith’’. When I first originally met my wife, I thought she was very beautiful and cool, but thought nothing more after we had met. I would eventually connect with her again during a tough season in my life. The Lord had redirected me to my church now called The New Hope Centre. I eventually came to know my wife at church after observing her for about 6 months. We had an interesting friendship; we would only give each other handshakes every time we met and had very short chats. I watched how she pursued the Lord and also observed how she was with others. The more I observed her, the more I fell for her. There was this fear of rejection I had which kept me from pursuing her sooner; maybe it was because I thought of myself then as a shepherd boy rather than a Boaz! I think the key moment for me was after we had a 6 hour fellowship with friends; we supernaturally began to date after that fellowship, I would eventually ask my pastors for the blessing to pursue her with marriage being my goal.
Was there ever a time in your Courtship that you didn’t see eye to eye? How did you get over this hurdle.
Solomon: Yes, there were many times we didn’t see eye to eye. We know the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy….we had intense challenges but we kept Jesus at the center of our relationship which kept us going. We had amazing marriage counseling which helped a lot, not to mention pastors and friends that always kept us in their prayer. What kept us over the hurdle was our eyes fixed on Jesus in rough times.
How did you pop the question?
Solomon: Myself and friends had arranged an interview, I told my wife we had to share our testimonies for church use. My plan had been to propose at the end of the interview, you can see the proposal video below. Thank God the plan all worked out.
Now you are a husband. How has married life changed you?
Solomon: I recently told a friend that marriage was like playoff basketball…you have fun and give it your all. Every day in marriage is like a game 7 game….You allow the Holy Spirit to lead your team. Marriage has changed my life in ways I can’t explain, I see Jesus so much more clearly now. Marriage has helped me to be a lot more responsible and it has helped me grow a lot in areas that I know I needed growth in
What advice do you have for single Christian women and men who are waiting to find that special one?
Solomon: Based on my experiences so far, I would encourage Christian singles to wait on God’s perfect timing. In my story and observations, Jesus is the perfect match maker and He has a better taste than we do. When you are single and can’t find a great partner, it’s easy to think you’re being punished or God has forgotten about you. That is a lie from the pit of hell. Singlehood isn’t a death sentence, it’s a time God prepares and develops you. God makes all things beautiful in His perfect time. While you are waiting, God is working. Singlehood is a gift from God that is to be enjoyed, God gives people the gift of singleness, and their gift back to Him is how they enjoy it growing deeper in God.
Thank you Solomon for sharing your story and wisdom with my readers. Marriage to the right person is awesome. God’s richest blessings to you and your wife.
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For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. Habakkuk 2:3
Caroylnn: We went to Niagara for a day trip with his family from the states and we were at an Italian eatery and he asked me the question in the eatery in front of his family and a few staff , I knew it was coming but I just didn’t know when. He had asked me about the style of ring that I liked. I am not fussy so I was glad it was done low key and intimate.
I am truly looking forward to becoming one with my fiancé, we will be able to do things together as a couple and live out our dreams together for the rest of the life that God gives us together, financially I will also get a break now that I will have a spouse we can work together as one unit. I look forward to a bright future with my fiancé and our new blended family. It can be done.
I had the opportunity of interviewing this very special young lady.
About 20 years ago Rachel and her sister Alanna invited me, a new Christian and member of their church into their home for dinner. To this very day I haven’t forgotten how kind she and her family were to me.
And now, I’ve been given the opportunity to be a blessing back with my book/ministry Single Ready & Waiting.
Well without further due let’s dive into our interview.
IMC: Welcome Rachel. Tell me prior to meeting Kevin your husband what type of men were you tired of meeting?
Rachel: I was tired of meeting men who were simply not interested in me or had no real NEED for me in their lives.
IMC: And you have a precious little girl… did this influence your dating choices in any way? How?
Rachel: Actually because I had a child from a previous relationship, this caused me to be extra cautious. I refused to allow her to view anyone as a potential father figure except for Kevin.
IMC: How did your friendship with Kevin develop into a Courting relationship?
Rachel: To be honest it all happened at once.We became friends, he brought me breakfast almost every morning on his way to work, he made me laugh everyday, and then we started going out places. However we both knew that the feelings were there and that we were for each other. I knew the first day I met him! It was just a matter of getting to know each other better.
IMC: During your relationship was there ever a time that you didn’t see eye to eye on something? How did you overcome this challenging time?
Rachel: Yes! Although my daughters father is in her life, I take care of her by myself, well now with Kevin’s support of course.As much as I would love to take action to enforce and amplify his parenting obligations, Kevin always reminds me that she has what she needs and to leave it into Gods hands. So eventually, I did.
IMC: How did you know that Kevin was deserving of you?
Rachel: Because he always put me and my daughter first alongside his children.Also, he needed me and I needed someone to need me. I was never important to anyone to the point where I was a necessity in their life until I met him.
IMC: How did you know that you were deserving of him?
Rachel: This took a while to discover because I was always letting trash into my life. Then comes this MAN! I was in the process of rediscovering myself after I read ” Single Ready and Waiting”. I was in detox mode. It took months to realize that I deserved to be finally loved and that yes, it was real. I was not used to it, so much so that I would complain to my friends that he was to good to me. They said it’s because I’m not used to being treated like a lady. Then my eyes were opened like Yes! I do deserve this! It was a whole new world to me.
IMC: How did he pop the question?
Rachel: It was my last day at my previous job, Christmas Eve. He knew where I worked and what time I would be finished. I went down to the below ground parking lot through the underground shopping grounds and I saw this man that looked exactly like Kevin grinning from ear to ear. To my surprise it was him with flowers congratulating me on my upcoming new job. I thought wow this man knows how to make a woman feel special, and then he got on one knee and proposed! I was in complete shock and I was not expecting it at all. It was the best Christmas gift I have ever received!
IMC: How did you prepare your daughter for this major transition in both of your lives?
Rachel: Kevin and I allowed my daughter and his children to spend time together on weekends. I also spoke to her about the change in our home location, family structure, sleeping arrangements and new school etc. She was just happy to see her siblings more often, however for a toddler it did take some time to get used to and my step-children were a great help.
IMC: If there is one piece of advice that you would share with single moms looking for love, what would that be?
Rachel: It’s impossible to have one piece of advice lol so here are a few!! Be extremely careful who you invite in. A lot of people will come knocking, selling all sorts of goodies, but allow God to open the door for the right person, not you.
IMC: Welcome to In My Chambers Cassandra. At what age did you begin to desire marriage?
Cassandra: Around the age of 25
IMC: What did you learn from others about marriage?
Cassandra: A variety of things, but the main thing that stuck out from marriages that I admired was that God was at the centre and that love was a commitment not just a feeling. It wasn’t a fairy-tale or a romantic movie but making a choice to do whatever it took.
IMC: Was dating permitted in your church? If so, how was it different from “worldly dating”?
Cassandra: Yes, it was permitted. However it was advised to hang out in groups and limit alone time
IMC: Were you ever close to getting married before? How did you know that he wasn’t God’s perfect will for you?
Cassandra: Yes, I was engaged, we broke it off 6 months before the wedding. From the time of engagement I felt like something wasn’t right, even though I loved him, I didn’t feel any peace. I kept having bad dreams and I was losing a lot of sleep. I didn’t know how to explain it to anyone. We were in the midst of planning the wedding and I was feeling obligated to go through with it. I didn’t want to hurt him and I didn’t want our families to be upset with me. I thought maybe it was cold feet. After a few months of going through this I finally shared how I was feeling with my fiancé at the time. He suggested that we meet with our Pre-Marital counsellors and talk it out. That was the best and worst day! They asked us ALOT of questions, and we broke up in that 1st session. The amazing thing was, as soon as it ended I felt like a burden was lifted. Even though things ended for us, we were able to say, it was for the best and parted as friends. It wasn’t easy but I’ve never regretted that decision, the months following were difficult, a lot of people had questions, and it was exhausting trying to keep explaining myself. However through that process God was there every step of the way. A few months of feeling uncomfortable was better than going through with a wedding and living in a marriage filled with regret.
IMC: You got that right!!. Then you met Andre..who you were friends with for 14 years tell me how did he move from the friend zone?
Cassandra: A mutual friend had talked to me about him, and they had wondered if there had been any interest in each other at anytime during our friendship. I had never looked at him that way, and had never had romantic feelings about him. Months went by and he would cross my mind and I would dismiss the thought immediately. Then one day I was dropping his sister off, and when I saw him, God told me that he would be my husband. I almost fell out, and thought I could dismiss it but it wasn’t working! A couple of months later, I was down in Niagara visiting my family and Andre was planning on getting a group of our friends together while I was down. Instead of us hanging out one time, we ended up talking for hours on end every day that’s when I knew I was in trouble! We shared things from our past, we shared our dreams, goals etc. We’ve always been able to speak to each other easily but all of a sudden, things got awkward between us, something had changed! On the last day that I was visiting, we finally had the ‘conversation’. ‘Soo what’s going on with you’?
We started laughing, and we both commented that ‘God had a sense of humour’! We didn’t want to rush into anything. I think mainly because he was scared of my Dad and my brother! He said that we should take a few days to pray, fast and seek the Lord for his will. We contacted my mentor Pastor Evelyn to get her input and prayer. Long story short, it took longer than a few days to wait on God. There were things God had to work out in each of our lives. So we stayed apart until it was time. There were no phone calls, messages etc. We began courtship 8 months later. The time apart was quite difficult but it’s the best thing we could of ever done!
IMC: Now for the most exciting part of our interview..How did Andre pop the question?
Cassandra: On Christmas Eve, he said he was going to take me to Niagara Falls to see the lights, but before we went he said that we were going to drop off a gift for our friends. We got to their house, and we got out of the car. In the distance I could see fire, I saw our friend Stephen lighting something. Then my eyes adjusted to the dark, and there was black rope on a fence. There were letters about 5 feet high and it spelled out ‘Will you Marry Me, and each letter had caught on fire! I literally lost it! I was so excited! Then above my head these lights came on. I didn’t realize we were under a pavilion. Andre was on his knee, and I was jumping and screaming like a crazy person! I wasn’t even sure if I had said Yes!
IMC: Why did you say YES?
Cassandra: So many reasons, but I knew he was the one and the will of God for my life. The peace of God was constantly present and I never doubted for a moment.
IMC: Advice to your fellow “Single Ready & Waiting” women?
Cassandra: My advice is to surrender all to Christ and to trust in his timing. He knows the desires of your heart. Also enjoy the season you’re in. When I was single, I had a day that I longed to be married and that’s normal however I refused to wait on a spouse to enjoy my life. I travelled and I did things that I wanted to do. You are complete in God and only can make you whole. When the time comes for marriage, you won’t be dependent on your spouse to make you happy. Also don’t let anyone make you feel bad because your single! God has the final say!
In My Chambers with Mr. Andre Powell
IMC: The Bible say’s “He who finds a wife” (Proverbs 18:22).
At what age did you become marriage minded?
Andre: In my 20’s
IMC: What were you looking for in a wife? Was it hard to find?
Andre: I was looking for a virtuous woman, one that had a real relationship with God. Somebody that had been proven through trying times in their life and they remained steadfast in the Lord. Also someone that I could be myself around, and they would love me for me. Of course I wanted someone as well that I would be attracted to and intelligent.
IMC: Was there ever a time where you questioned God about whether you would get married or stay single?
Andre: Yes, most definitely there were those times. My past relationship didn’t seem to go anywhere. This led me to question God if I was supposed to be single.
IMC: After 14 years of friendship things changed. Cassandra moved from the friend zone to becoming bone of your bone…Did you always have a knowing that Cassandra would become your wife one day? How did you win Cassandra’s heart over?
Andre: We were very good friends, but I had no idea that she would end up becoming my wife one day! As far as winning her over, it was mutual between us! God opened our eyes to see each other in a different way.
IMC: What advice do you have for men in regards to finding a wife?
Andre: Surrender your life to God, and don’t rush into anything . Allow him to bring that person into your life. On our own we tend to mess things up. God’s timing is everything. He might also be teaching you how to put him first before getting into a relationship.
IMC: Well said. Thank you Cassandra and Andre for sharing with my readers. May you continue to make God your first love and the ROCK in which your marriage stands because all other ground is sinking sand.
This has been another In My Chambers blog interview. ©