IMC: Welcome to In My Chambers Nike. Before meeting your knight and shining armour. What was your dating experience like?
Nike: I dated a wonderful guy in high school who unfortunately died. Then I didn’t date again until I was in University. I didn’t have much time and I found the dates I went on to be super boring.
IMC: You are a woman of Nigerian descent, how important was it for you to marry someone from the same background?
Nike: I would say it was 50% important to me. I really love our Nigerian culture and tradition and I also knew deep down that my father would have wanted me to marry a Nigerian man.
IMC: In my book Single, Ready & Waiting I wrote about the importance of getting parental blessing when making the serious decision to marry someone. For you, it just so happened that you met a Nigerian man. Can you tell us how you met?
Nike: My cousin invited me over to her boyfriends house to braid her hair and within a few minutes this FINE 6’5ft black man walks in. My heart stopped for a second and I remember whispering under my breath “damn he’s fine and he’s wearing native attire” lol!. He walked up to me to introduce himself and then proceeded to ask me my name and where I was from. Once he heard I was Nigerian his eyes lit up!
IMC: Sounds like love at first sight.:) Where did you go for your first date?
Nike: Our first date was at Coffee time near Weston Rd and Finch. We spent over 8 hours just talking and getting to know each other. It felt like 2 hours because we had so many things in common and we just kept talking till morning. It was a simple yet amazing first date.
IMC: How long did he court you before popping the question? And how did he do it?
Nike: We courted for 2 years before he asked me to marry him. He proposed at my sisters house in Vaughan. He reenacted the ring scene from “Step Mom” by tying a long string to my ring finger and sliding the ring down as he said some fancy things (I don’t remember cause I was in shock). Once the ring hit my figure he asked me to marry him and of course I said YES!
IMC: Awe….in three words or less how would you describe your wedding day?
Nike: Perfect, simple and incredible
IMC: As Christians, how do you include God in your marriage?
Nike: Daily morning prayers together, attend church and we have devotionals together at 5:30 am before the kids wake up.
IMC: What was the biggest adjustment you had to make after saying “I do”?
Nike: We never lived together before getting married so I would say living together was a big adjustment for the both of us and cooking..LOL.
IMC: What advice do you have to share with Christian single women?
Nike: Lay your request before God and wait in expectation. Psalms 5:3
I wrote what I wanted in a husband and put that in my Bible and waited for God to do it! He answers….. NEVER settle for what is not God ordained. He promised you THE BEST so be patient and wait…. He’s got it all under control.
IMC: And there you have it folks…God’s GOT IT ALL UNDER CONTROL!!!
Remain faithful as you wait for there is nothing too hard for the Lord to do.
©This is another In My Chambers with Tanika blog interview all rights reserved.
Tashana congrats on your recent marriage. So thrilled and excited for you. It was just a few years ago that I was driving you home when we had a conversation about waiting and trusting God’s timing of things.
IMC: While waiting, did you have an idea of the type of person you were waiting for?
For me, I never had a Father. So I always wanted the qualities in my Husband to match the qualities of my Heavenly Father. I can’t tangibly see God, but I feel him, and I know his fruits. So for me it was a matter of seeing those fruits and traits that match my Father; is he patient, is he kind? Does he pursue God more than me? (Which is what every Man ought to do) Does he draw from the Spirit of God rather than his own understanding ? Does he understand the order of marriage and why it was established? Is he ready to lead?
IMC: How did you meet Amos? and was it love at first sight?
I met Amos at a Play that I happened to be one of the leads in. I remember very clearly the first time I saw him. One of the sisters from his ministry was beside me and said “wow, he is so handsome”! As I turned around and looked, I saw him talking with a few of the brothers that were helping with audio and he was very handsome, indeed lol. But, I did not know that I would have the privilege of becoming his wife.
IMC: In my book Single, Ready and Waiting I shared my three years or less rule. How long was your courtship? And how did you know that Amos was “THE ONE” for you?
We courted for about 2 years. I knew he was the one for me because of his soul and spirit. It was a mirror, a reflection of Gods character and his Love.
IMC: Amos is from a different background than you. How did you adjust or fit into his Spanish speaking world?
He is from a different background indeed!! I think I will always be adjusting because I will always be learning more that there is to know about Spanish. But I have come a long way lol. I do find it different when it comes to gatherings from his family’s side, but none the less, they have shown nothing more than Love!
IMC: How did he pop the question? Since getting married what would you say is the biggest adjustment you had to make?
He popped the question at a park where we had our first kiss. He asked a stranger to take a photo for us (anyone who knows me, knows I love taking photos)! After us trying to pose in several poses, he said, “let’s pose like this” and went down on one knee !!
The biggest adjustment would be the fact that it’s not just me anymore, but rather someone else. I need to be understanding that there’re different opinions, a different way of thinking regarding certain things, different backgrounds, different experiences, different upbringings.
IMC: What advice do you have for young women your age (20’s) who are dating?
Save yourself for your significant other. Everyone has different experiences and has went through and have come up against different battles that have made them the person they are today. The best guidance is from the Holy Spirit, bc the Holy spirits knows the mind of God. He also knows the deepest parts of us, things that sometimes not even our family knows, sometimes even things that not even we know yet. We have the privellege of having the Holy Spirit dwell within us. We often think His voice is in the big things, but He will make his voice known through impressions, through actions, and through scripture.
IMC: How did the Single Ready and Waiting book help you in your single season?
The Single, Ready, Waiting book helped to open my eyes to how important it really is to save yourself for your significant other. It also showed me that our timing doesn’t compare to God’s timing. His timing is always strategic, and on purpose and His plans for us are always good!!
Thank you Tashana for sharing with my readers. May the love you have for God and each other continue to grow stronger and deeper with each passing year.
This has been another In My Chambers Blog Interview ©
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Welcome to another In My Chambers Blog Interview.
I hope you’re enjoying the SRW blog just as much as I enjoy interviewing my guests and sharing them with you.
Well, without further due let’s meet the lovely Cassandra Cassamajor.
IMC: Cassandra before meeting Mr. Right did you get involved with Mr. Wrong?
Cassandra: I sure did! I met a whole bunch of Mr. Wrongs. Before I met Mr. Right, I was entertaining a relationship with someone who wasn’t saved. He was a great guy and he had all but the most important of the qualities I was looking for in a man – he wasn’t a Christian. He said he believed in God but he didn’t go to church, he didn’t believe in reading his bible, and most of all, no part of his day was devoted to spending time with the Lord. But I led myself to believe that because he said he believed in God, thing would work out between us and we were equally yoked. Boy was I dead wrong. And it didn’t take me long to see that he wasn’t right for me but I really loved him, and he loved me too, so I stayed with him. Things went south quickly when he started inquiring about taking my virginity. And that’s where things ended. He realized that I was actually serious about remaining a virgin. So he decided to be with someone who he could be sexually intimate with.
IMC: Many singles are meeting their mate in various ways..through the internet, at church. How did you meet your mate?
Cassandra: I met Jeff at my local church in Toronto. He lived in Montreal but he was in Toronto for the weekend visiting his family who attended my local church. His cousin introduced us to each other after Sunday morning service. The following day, I spoke with him for 2 hours. After that long conversation, I knew there was something special about him, so I didn’t play hard to get.
IMC: How did he win your heart over?
Cassandra: He won my heart over with his humility and sincere devotion to the Lord. More precisely, he won my heart over when HE told ME that he didn’t want us having sex until marriage! What?! In the past, I was always the one who had to bring up the sex talk and explain my vow to remain pure until marriage. This time around, he brought it up and he lived up to it.
IMC: How did he pop the question?
Cassandra: I travelled to Montreal for the weekend of his birthday. I planned out the entire weekend, leaving no room to rest or to be tempted lol. One of the activities that I planned was going to a shooting range. He kept on asking me about the details of the shooting range and I wondered why but I didn’t investigate further. It turns out he got into contact with the manager at the shooting range, planned the proposal with him and even had a professional photographer capture the moment for us. After shooting and missing a few times, I hit the target and Jeff and our instructor were so excited and asked me if I wanted to see where I hit on the target. Still clueless, I said sure. I was handed the target and on the it was written “Will you marry me?” I turned to look over at Jeff and there he was on one knee saying a bunch of sweet things I cannot remember. And I said YES!
IMC: Since getting married what would you say is the biggest adjustment you had to make?
Cassandra: The biggest adjustment I had to make was to learn how to live away from my family, friends and church family. Jeff and I were in a long distance relationship for our entire relationship. We knew that at some point someone would have to relocate and we eventually agreed that it would be me. Leaving Toronto, where I was born and raised and where I lived for 26 years was tough. But I am remaining in constant communication with my family, friends and church in Toronto. I visit and they visit too. Looks like I ended my long distance relationship with Jeff to begin many long distance relationships with my loved ones in Toronto. I’d say that I’ve mastered long distance relationships lol.
IMC: Being away from family, church and your close friends what do you do to stay grounded?
Cassandra: In order to stay grounded, I personally need to stay busy. For as long as I could remember, I’ve always lived a hectic life. I juggled working, being in ministry, volunteering, going to school, and having to maintain a healthy long distance relationship. I finally have a chance to rest but resting too much has been stressing me out. So I try to fill my days with projects. Other than applying for work, making sure the house is in order, that there is food on the table and that my husband is taken care of :), I have been devoting way more time to seeking the Lord, studying His Word, writing, reading, doing research, trying new recipes, sewing, organizing, reorganizing and decorating our home and keeping in touch with my family and friends in Toronto.
IMC: What advice do you have for young women who may be feeling depressed about their single status especially when they see their friends dating and getting married?
Cassandra: I truly believe that God has a unique plan for us all and He is always on time. And that goes for all aspects of our lives. While you may feel depressed about your single status, others may be feeling depressed about their dating and marriage statuses. Embrace your season of singleness and don’t you dare settle for a man who is not equally yoked. Let the desires of your heart be known to God, trust in His timing, be patient, work on bettering yourself and have fun while you wait on the Lord. Psalms 37:5 says “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.”. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” Proverbs 3:5-6.
IMC: Lastly, You are currently looking for a job in Montreal. You never know who could be reading this interview:) What kind of job are you looking for and how could someone get in contact with you for a possible interview or job lead?
Cassandra: Awww thank you Tanika! Though my education and experience is mostly in Real Estate Law, Criminal Law and Immigration law, I am opened to working in any legal department. I can be contacted on LinkedIn: Cassandra Destra or by email: email@example.com
IMC: Cassandra, thank you for sharing your love story with me and my readers. I pray God’s continued blessings upon you and your marriage.
Well friends, like I always say “God Has A Master Plan With Your Name On It!”
Stay tuned for another In My Chambers blog interview. ©
Tanika Chambers, Author of the book Single, Ready & Waiting: Your Guide to Courtship
Welcome to another In My Chambers blog Interview with Tanika.
My special guests: Samantha and Godfrey, a newly engaged couple.
In My Chambers: Thank you Samantha and Godfrey for sharing with us today.
Samantha tell me, were you single and satisfied before meeting Godfrey?
Samantha: Yes, I would say my best single years were spent building a real relationship with Jesus. For years I attended church out of routine, but when I made the decision to spend time learning of Him I discovered His love. The reality of His sacrifice pierced my heart and I realized this kind of love can only come from Him! We often hear of the void in our heart that only He can fill. When I let Him do just that, I found that I was left satisfied! In times when I would get discouraged and wonder when marriage would happen for me, I reminded myself that God does all things well and when He sees fit. This comforted me and now looking back, I see the truth in Matthew 6:33. When we seek God’s kingdom and His righteousness first, He then adds all other things.
IMC: Were you praying for a husband while single?
Samantha: While single, I didn’t pray for God to send me a husband but I did pray for whomever God had in store for me. I prayed that He would be a man of prayer, after God’s heart, one given to godly mentorship and a worshipper! (to name a few). My heart was that when we finally met, he would be well seasoned and prepared to enter in to courtship. I prayed with full confidence, knowing that God would exceed my expectations- and that He did!
IMC: What about you Godfrey? Were you praying for a wife?
Godfrey: I was praying for a wife prior to meeting Samantha. I had a list of what I was looking for and actively praying for.
IMC: You are a tall woman, were you open to getting to know shorter men?
Samantha: As I am jovial, I was open to getting to know anyone with a great personality; but my preference is tall men.
IMC: How did you meet Godfrey?
Samantha: Godfrey and I both attended York University where we studied and we also served as part of a campus ministry called “United Through Worship”. I sing and play the keys, Godfrey is a musician as well- he plays the bass so we would often see each other at meetings, rehearsals and events. We found that as we engaged in conversation we connected as if no one else was in the room. It was wonderful! We were experiencing something special; it didn’t happen right away but in God’s perfect timing a few years later, we now see its fullness.
IMC: Godfrey, prior to meeting Samantha, were you ever in a relationship with someone you thought was the one? How did you realize she wasn’t?
Godfrey: I was in a long standing relationship with someone prior who I thought I’d be with for the rest of my life. However it started with me taking a step back after some things in the relationship were not going the way I thought they’d be. It caused me to write out what was happening in the relationship that I didn’t like that wasn’t changing and then write out what I do want and what I do want to see. In doing that, I was able to assess the situation and make the decision to break things off.
IMC: Godfrey, when did you know that you wanted to pursue a relationship with Samantha?
Godfrey: I can’t remember the exact date, but I remember it was after a deep conversation we were having at a friend’s house after a birthday party. It wasn’t just a surface conversation but one that lasted in my mind.
IMC: Samantha, when did you know without a shadow of a doubt he was the God sent for you?
Samantha: I knew that he was God sent as we progressed from friendship to our season of courtship. During this time, I discovered that he is who I prayed for (I had a list) but also so much more. He challenges me to think differently, be better! It was rare for me to know a man to posses such great character-his kindness, the grace he shows to others, his giving nature. It causes me to come up higher, mirroring the image of Christ.
IMC: How soon did you let your parents know about him? What about your girlfriends?
Samantha: Godfrey & I were dating for months before anyone knew about us! I told my older sister about him first, then my girlfriends and my parents. I kept it quiet for a while until I was more confident about where we were headed. I primarily talked to the Lord, inquiring of Him about how we would complement the call on each other’s lives. I wanted to ensure we’d accommodate where we are going, not just where we were at that time. Having a kingdom destiny to lock arms and fulfill was very important to me.
IMC: Did you go to church together during your courtship?
Samantha: During courtship, we attended different churches and have fond memories of visiting each other. There’s something about lifting our worship and praise to God in a corporate setting together- we love it!
IMC: How did you remain chaste during your courtship? What worked for you?
Samantha: We understood that environment is important and we needed to choose places for dates conducive to our purity goals. We found that this helped to resist temptation. We knew that pleasing the Lord rather than our flesh was required of us. I’m always encouraging others to wait until marriage to have sex, so I knew I had to uphold a standard in this area. For the first year of our relationship, we only held hands. Taking things slowly really suppressed our appetite for anything physical. In our journey, we found that working on communication and growing as best friends was the principal thing. We knew that this would create a solid foundation for the physical aspect of our relationship to flourish in the future. I’m not saying it was always easy, especially as we grew in love but what anchored us was keeping a consistent prayer and fasting schedule as a couple. This helped us to mature and develop the fear of the Lord in our relationship together. As King Solomon said, this is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 1:7) and this proved to be beneficial for us.
IMC: How did he propose?
Samantha: It was perfect!!! Godfrey invited my family to join his on their weekend getaway to Blue Mountain!
Prior to us driving up there on Friday he contacted me saying there’s a banquet hall he’d like us to check out, as we could potentially use it for our wedding. The venue was on route so it made perfect sense. Once we got there, I immediately fell in love!!! I spotted the beautiful lake out back and I was sold! Anyone who knows me well knows that I love all things water! He planned for us to have a meeting with the coordinator. She showed us around and told us details about planning our wedding there. After the meeting was complete, I suggested to Godfrey that we take selfies out by the lake! He agreed and I was so excited to do so! After taking some shots, we stood under the gazebo looking out at the lake. Chatting normally at first, then I saw the look on his face change. He became serious and began his speech! I said aloud “it’s happening!!!” Before I knew it, he was down on one knee removing the ring from his pocket, asking me to marry him!!!!! Of course I said “Yesss!!!” I then looked to my left and saw a photographer there taking our pictures!! Once our photo shoot was done, we went to the on-site restaurant and had a glass of wine! After this we drove up to Blue Mountain shared the great news with our parents, siblings and family! The rest of the weekend was spent enjoying quality time together and celebrating our new engagement!!!
IMC: Godfrey, How well do you know your bride to be?
a. What food could she never get tired of eating? b. What’s that one word she says often?
c. What do you think she likes most about you? a) Your smile b) Your personality c) Your character
d) Your relationship with God e) All of the above.
a. Chicken and rice (no condiments)
b. The phrase she says often is “This is the deal…”
c. She likes my A
IMC: Finally, what advice do you have for other SRW ladies? Do you recommend the SRW book?
Samantha: My advice is to chase after God! Women sometimes get caught up with the idea of having a man and dreaming of their wedding day. The primary thing on our agenda should be to build a firm relationship with the Lord. He really must be our first love! The reality is that He loves us more than anyone (John 15:13) and desires that we come in to this knowledge and respond rightly. Take time to get to know Him through His word, and you’ll find that He satisfies!! I believe once women do this, they can rest knowing that their heavenly Father gives good gifts in His perfect timing!
I definitely recommend the SRW book! I first read it in 2012 and I found it to be very practical, I could take advice right off the pages and apply it to my life. Tanika’s transparency is real and proves God as one who takes care of His children. The key is in our obedience to Him! The book really is a blessing- it answers questions, gives direction and encouragement!
IMC: Godfrey, what advice do you have to share with men who see a woman they want to pursue? How do you suggest they go about it?
Godfrey: Write out what you are looking for, know what you want prior to entering a relationship and constantly submit yourself to the leading of the Father! Proverbs 3:5-6 asking Him into every part of your relationship so that when you do, she can partner with you as you partner with Christ!
IMC: Well we’ve come to the end of another In My Chambers interview. Thank you Samantha and Godfrey for sharing how God had a master plan with your name on it. Let the wedding plans begin.:)